There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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