Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You ruined the universe
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
