I looked at my own cervix.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
