i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
