I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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