We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
