I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
