capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
