She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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