how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
