I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize
