The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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