6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
