and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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