That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
