you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
