yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
