This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
