Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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