i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
