Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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