It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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