The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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