Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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