What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
