you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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