I can't breathe out the right side of my face
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
