I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
two words: eviction party
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize