Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Randomize
