Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
