I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize