Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
