i don't like sucking hair
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
