So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
