lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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