Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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