Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
