let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
