we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
smell my finger.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
