Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
