eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
