I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
