Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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