We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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