Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
