no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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