if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
