no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Randomize
