talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize