I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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