ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
