If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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