No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
