What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
