Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
pray to the hookup gods
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
