The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
