im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
These tits shall not be calmed
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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