I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
