I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize
