it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
