Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
