Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
